Category: stories of inspiration


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These  four little words are so profound. So deep. So thought provoking and even disturbing.

What have I become?

I even have difficulty writing about it. I have been so many things. Child, sister, mother, wife, friend, co worker, neighbor, statistic. I looked up the definitions of  “I, Have and Become” Posted below.

“I”:

I  is the first-person singular nominative case personal pronoun in Modern English. It is used to refer to one’s self and is capitalized, although other pronouns, such as he or she, are not capitalized.

“Have”:

1have verb \ˈhav, (h)əv, v; in “have to” meaning “must” usually ˈhaf\
had hav·ing has

1
a : to hold or maintain as a possession, privilege, or entitlement  <I have my rights>
b : to hold in one’s use, service, regard, or at one’s disposal
c : to hold, include, or contain as a part or whole
2
: to feel obligation in regard to
3
: to stand in a certain relationship to
4
a : to acquire or get possession of : obtain <these shoes are the best to be had>
b : receive <had news>
c : accept; specifically : to accept in marriage,

 

“BECOME”:

be·come verb \bi-ˈkəm, bē-\
: to begin to be or come to be something specified : to begin to have a specified quality

: to look attractive on (someone) : to be flattering to (someone)

1
a : to come into existence
b : to come to be <become sick>
2
: to undergo change or development
: to be suitable to
— become of
: to happen to

 

We get accustomed to using words loosely. We take them for granted the power in words and behind them. There were so many things “I had to have”, “had to become”, and the things I “became”. I struggled and fought for it all. To be, to become like everyone else. I was so ignorant, and wrong, I was fooled into believing I needed to become what others wanted me to become. To become what I thought I should become. Jesus taught me to put away that thinking. To trust the Holy Spirit, not the body, mind or world.

I was all those things mentioned and more. Those were were only the good words, the ones everyone is used to hearing. They say a lot but then again much is left out. When I was a child I did childish immature things, as a sister I was the one to do most of the work because I was the eldest. Taking on the inexperience and lack of love from parents I struggled to love and care for my siblings. As a wife I loved and  tolerated much. As a friend I loved and extended myself outward to others, giving the honest me. As a co worker I loved my jobs even though I didn’t want to. I offered my friendship honestly at work and outside of work. As a neighbor, I tried loving them, mostly if my friendship and outstretched hand was rejected I pulled back. I kept to myself. Always willing to help but hesitating, watching and waiting.I was and I am a statistic. That’s the way the world looks at me. Born, living, dead, tracked though out life, a statistic (that will be another story)

But there’s more:

I was a sinner also. I went my way listening to everything, watching everything, hearing and learning about how I should live in this world. What society expects of me. How I “should” do this or “must ” do that.

My thinking started out pure, clean and open, wanting to learn, to be part of, to do the right thing. Doing what others do, liking what they like, eating and drinking the same foodstuffs.

Geez Louise. “what have I become”? I cry whenever I think about it. I’m older now and so much time has gone by. I think, if only I knew then what I should look for, look up to, live for, believe in, if only I knew.

I was saved almost five years ago. I have been fast tracking as a Christian. I’m so hungry for the Lord. Knowing how much time is behind me and not knowing the time in front of me I want to BECOME more Christ like . Learn my lessons quickly, force Satan out of my life, my memories, my everything. Push onward, be a blessing, give blessings. Make myself conform to the right thing. Yes it’s hard and painful, I still hurt and cry and carry on.

I ask the Lord, “Why did it take so long for me to find you”? He reminds me that I needed all those lessons to BECOME what He wants me to become.

He saved me for the time which is now. I am a Warrior Bride for Christ.

 Thank you Jesus. Praise Him Always.

What have YOU Become?

 

 

 

 

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I am so sorry for the long gap in posting. I had many things going on. Working, packing to move, going to church, bible study, volunteering, brief social visits, doctor visits, well you get the picture. I was busy. Too busy, something I really don’t like to be anymore. I promised myself that since I moved back to New York from Florida I would not let myself get stressed and pressed. It almost happened, praise the Lord I think I caught it in time.

Then after I moved, I thought “aha” I’ve got a better handle on it and voila! It happened again. Since I was closer to work but further from the places I volunteered at and worshiped at, I had to adjust my schedule, and my gas allowance. I also see more doctors now. You have got to know that it’s just the way it is, as we get older that’s what happens. Wear and tear. All the times when we should have been taking care of ourselves were spent in postponement of self obligation. Either we thought getting old was never going to happen to us, we didn’t have the money or insurance, the transportation to and from, the doctor always gets me upset mindset, or being too proud to go to the doctors for only God knows why, we still need to do our routine maintenance and checkups. I have always tried to the best of my ability to take care of myself. Oh, I wasn’t  an athlete or superstar just a regular hard working person. I finally got medical insurance so now I can work on my physical self.

But my emotional self obviously needed more work. I did have a problem with rewarding myself for things well done. Whether it was a job well done, an accomplishment of a long term/short term goal, a friend in town or socializing with my friends kind of reward, it was a food reward. Years ago, I punished myself with food, I thought I was ugly, not good enough, always apologizing for something I had no control over, or my inability to deal with my life circumstances. My life was difficult in the past, praise the Lord that’s all behind me now.

When I realized that I hid behind food, that I punished myself with food, I was comforted by food, and that I had used food like many people use alcohol or drugs. I had an awakening. I thought I had it all figured out. But now for the flip side, I reward myself. Instead of telling myself, that the extra lunch money can go into an account I allowed myself to be blindsided and lost control. Going out to eat used to be part of my entertainment too. I would go out to eat and then the movies. Normal right? Except at the movies I had a large buttered popcorn, no drink or candy usually. Just water.

Geez Louise! I thought about this today as I sat at my favorite Chinese Restaurant, a buffet restaurant. Getting my usual two plates, one with meat and veggies the other with fish and seafood, I sat down to eat. Quietly by myself which is the norm for me since I left Florida. Sure I go out once in a while with my good friends but when they’re not around I take myself out.

While sitting there, eating, drinking my hot tea, watching others, I noticed most people, not all the people but most of them are obese. Now I’m overweight, not enough to require surgical intervention but I couldn’t help wondering about the sin of Gluttony. I have also noticed this at my chiropractors office. Most people that come in are overweight and out of shape out of shape. Interesting terminology, “out of shape”. As if we take on a new form, a disfigured self. I noticed that about myself. I looked bloated and puffy, my skin felt different, my body ached more.

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary it’s:

Excessive eating or drinking, excessive overindulgence        

According to velocity.net (Ed Tarkowski) : 

It is a result of lawlessness where gluttony, rebellion, disobedience and the like just walk in and take over. Gluttony contributes to lawlessness because gluttony is excess, and that excess indulges the self and leads to a lack of self-control. The time or activity that one spends glutting himself takes away time from other things, and brings forth a life of irresponsibility. In order to justify the time spent on whatever consumes him, the glutton can’t be wrong because that might infringe on the freedom to do what he wants. Therefore, when things go awry, everyone else is responsible for the problems. The glutton has to fill himself with what he wants to do to satisfy self, and this is usually done at the expense of others. http://www.velocity.net/~edju70/1deadly.htm

Well, THAT was an eye opener. I’ve been working on my humility and disobedience and low and behold I read this. Yep, it’s true for me, what about you? How about this one?

The chief error about Gluttony is to think it only pertains to food. Some people can’t have enough toys, television, entertainment, sex, or company. It is about an excess of anything. There are at least three forms of Gluttony:

  1. Wanting more pleasure from something than it was made for.
  2. Wanting it exactly our way (delicacy).
  3. Demanding too much from people (excessive desire for other people’s time or presence)    http://www.holyspiritinteractive.net/features/thesevendeadlysins/gluttony.asp

Geez Louise, I had no idea. I need to reel myself in and ask God to help me on this one. It’s more involved than just overeating and spoiling myself. I surely don’t want to be disobedient or stalk anyone. I’m trusting God and having more faith. I need strength, His strength. Help me Father.

 This sin is insidious, I need to pay more attention. There are many twists and turns on the way to Heavens gate. Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes once again.

Here’s some more resources on one of the Seven Deadly Sins:

The Holy Bible

http://www.holyspiritinteractive.net/features/thesevendeadlysins/gluttony.asp

http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Bible-Verses-About-Gluttony/

http://www.upworthy.com/7-deadly-sins-map-how-does-your-state-stack-up

 

 

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It’s not easy walking a narrow path. Trying to live like Jesus wants us to live. Trusting Him completely in a distrusting world. Satan always prowling around (1 Peter 5:7-8). Sometimes it’s difficult to make the right decisions about even just the simplest things. It seems like they escalate into something with a life of it’s own.

An avalanche going downhill, a rockslide, a waterfall. Turning into something else entirely when it gets to the bottom. If you look at it negatively, you might think, “wow, a huge powerful mess just wound up here”. Look at it positively and think, ” will you look at how awesome that is, see the new creation, see the might and strength of what that has become.”  

The avalanche has taken the weight off the mountain and moved earth and debris to the base creating new environment for plants and animals.

The rockslide creates new terrain also taking the mountains weight.

The waterfall as powerful as it is moves the earth and whats in the waters path to the bottom, a pool of churning water making its way yet again along and through the earth.

Powerful, dangerous, sometimes deadly events that through unplanned circumstances are transformed into something good or better than before.

The rocks or snow were dangling and really had no use the way they were,  it’s like the earth was shedding them. Shaking them off.

The waterfall couldn’t just end there at the bottom of the pool, it overflowed and spilled out to start again and start anew.

Being Christian is a lot like that. You die to self. When you surrender your life to Jesus, He takes the old and begins to make it new. When you commit yourself to living Christlike many obstacles can come against you. The pressure is on, things begin to happen. New level new devil. The commitment becomes more challenging. Time changes, conversation, habits, and normal routines morph ever so slightly. Friendships move on and slowly new ones are made. A reshaping, a new you. Sometimes you feel oppressed, or depressed but don’t give into it.

Trust God always. Pray to stay on the narrow path because it’s all worth it in the end. Become a new creation, go through the narrow gate ( Matthew 7:14).

ImageLately I’ve been wondering about a lot of things. I guess that I’ve been getting hungry again.

Three years ago I was saved. I lived in Florida at the time and had many Christian friends and contacts.

Moving to New York I needed to begin again. I found a great church right away, praise the Lord.

Then after awhile I felt a gnawing, a space, a void. I used to be so involved in bible studies, church and various types of worship, fellowshipping, and being a part of several different  things. I found different places to go and discovered  more about myself and my relationship with God.

Now  I don’t have all that contact and I’m more of a lone explorer, except for the occasional blessing of finding a few other ” explorers” like myself, I am wandering again.

Looking for my Jesus fix. That’s also what Joyce Meyer calls it. Being addicted to Jesus. I just have to have what He has. I keep looking for my teacher. I keep listening for the still small voice. I feel the need.

So I begin searching for my teacher. Asking others about more.

More praise and worship, inspirational preaching, restorative instruction, deeper and deeper I feel the need to go.

I’ve been to two new churches. Awesome places of worship. Full Gospel Christian Center in Port Jefferson Station, NY and The Refuge Church in Northport, NY are wonderful examples of feeding my need.

Full Gospel Christian Center is charismatic, has altar calls, flag and dance ministries, friendly parishioners, terrific praise and worship ministry, and the pastors are so anointed. When I was there many people went up for the altar call and where anointed  with oil and prayed prayed over by the pastors. Talk about a Holy Spirit movement. It was so amazing, two and a half hours long. Wow. I felt great after that.

The same people that told me of that church asked me if I wanted to go to a healing service. We did that a couple of weeks later.

We went to The Refuge Church in Northport. Friday and Saturday night and Sunday service. The praise and worship music was wonderful here also. Everything here was great. The pastor had such a great connection with his congregation.

What I found inspiring was the amount of young people so devoted to Jesus. There were more young than old. Hallelujah. There also was flag and dance ministries.  

They had special guests,there were two healers there from Bethel Church in Redding, California. The miracles that took place that weekend were simply fantastic. One young woman had her Scoliosis healed and grew an inch. I myself had my back and my right knee prayed  over. I actually felt and had visualized my one disc being pulled and moved. It took a few days before I realized the knot behind my right knee was gone. I can say that I partial healing but I will TESTIFY to what happened to me while I was there. A man had a rash on his leg that completely disappeared. There were others also.

My advice is for you to go yourself to a healing service. Bring your Faith and Belief.

As for me, I’m looking for more, so if you happen to see me when I’m questing let me tell you about about my adventures with Jesus.

Blessings,

Mary  

PS: See links section for website addresses.

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 It’s been a long time since my last post. I have had a lot of changes going on. Good changes, God inspired changes. Sometimes difficult changes. Mostly it’s about giving up self control and realizing I am only fooling myself when I think I can manage on my own without trusting God to take care of all my needs. And that includes friendships.

 Besides holiday cards, I also like to send out a note  to all of my friends. I want them to know how much I appreciate them and am so thankful for their friendships. I also try to keep up via phone calls. I’m not a big fan of texting, it’s so impersonal.  

I always thought getting personal snail mail was important. To be honest I even like getting junk mail. It tells me, “hey the world recognizes you’re alive and  living at this place”. Sometimes I even get a bonus gift or awesome coupon or notice of an upcoming event. It’s part of being more than a microscopic dot in a big atomic pool of life. There is so much going on in this wonderful life of ours everyone wants to be acknowledged for their existence.

I connected again with some friends that have been very busy in their lives. Busy with family and school and work.  And I reconnected with others that have been out of touch with me for awhile. It’s so good and healthy to reach out to one another.

Some have created new things in their lives. God related things. An example of this is my friend Lori. Lori and I have known each other through church and bible study groups and related events. She and I both have a heart for the Lord and for the homeless. I’m presently helping a group in my church here in NY.

Lori tells me she has started a church in Clearwater, Florida. She  also has a homeless ministry  and a dance ministry that she’s deeply involved in. She’s on Facebook if you want to check out her ministries.

The Dance Ministry is called “Hearts on Fire Ministry”, they’re awesome in their Praise and Worship of the Lord Jesus. I took this from her “about” page:

Freedom in Praise and Worship to Glorify God with The Creative Arts
Mission

Extravagant Praise and Worship Expressed in The Creative Arts

Description

Hearts On Fire Ministry is under the covering of Calvary Chapel Worship Center, in New Port Richey, Florida. We are a missions outreach ministry to promote the Gospel of Jesus Christ through the Creative Arts: Expressive Sign Language, Dance, Mime, Music, Drama, ETC…

This is a recent post of Revelation Song it’s really very nicely done. Please view it and share it with others. Good things need to be shared and promoted.
Lori is very dedicated to the Lord and  her ministries and I am so glad and proud to have her as a friend. May blessings follow you and the good work you do. Links can be found within this post or to the right.
Hearts on Fire Dance Ministry comes under the covering of Calvary Chapel Worship Center in New Port Richey Florida. What an awesome place of worship it is.
Stop by there on Thursday nights or Sundays for a fulfilling Holy Spirit worship experience.

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 When I moved to New York I began attending the Church at the Movies (www.churchatthemovies.com  also called Grace Ministries) .

While in church yesterday doing my usual prayers before service  listening to the praise and worship team warm up, I thought ” I do the same thing all the time when I come here I wonder if it makes a difference?”.

When Pastor Roger Blackmore came out after the praise and worship leaders were finished he started again on his”Second Chance Salvation” sermon.

This week it was about Job. Now I heard and read about Job umpteen times but I took notes anyway. Pastor Roger asked the congregation a rhetorical question.

Where are You in God’s Love?  

Pastor Roger went on to discuss the deal the devil made with God, Jobs loss of ALL his children in one day, his boils and sores, his friends, his wife and Jobs lament. Yep, heard it all before, so what was different today?

 Job was a man that praised and worshiped God for everything he had and  lost, what Job missed was his relationship with God. Job longed for his past life, when he had good life and his children were still alive (Job 29:2). He longed for his lost youth (Job 29:4-Oh, for the days when I was in my prime, when God’s intimate friendship blessed my house). But most of all he looked back and noticed he wasn’t as spiritual and faithful as he should have been (Job 29:2-Oh that I were as in months gone by, As in the days when God watched over me; NASB ).

He missed God’s care (Psalm 121:7  -The LORD will keep you from all harm–he will watch over your life; NLT) He missed his relationship with God more than he missed all his wealth, loss of health and children. He must have had an awesome relationship.

I sat there thinking ” I pray, praise and worship quite often. Just how often did Job?  Just where am I in God’s love? I want that kind of relationship with God.

I think I can have it if  I ASK.

 In Job 42:12 God blessed the latter portion of his life. God DOUBLED it. I want that! I want to walk around in Joy and gladness.I need to remind myself that God’s going to work everything out for me.

I need to TELL GOD I really need Him and allow Him to come to me where I am.

God’s a perfect gentleman. He’s not going to force Himself on you or me He will wait to see if you or I sincerely want Him.

 If you really want Him, just ask Him and then wait. Because everything’s in Gods time, not mine or yours.

Thank you Pastor Roger for a great sermon.

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Lately while doing my daily reading of the Word, listening to TV pastors, and also my inner spirit I have been hearing a repetition of encouragements and affirmations.I have been hearing messages of prosperity, wealth, health, restoration and renewal. some examples: Esther 8:2, Genesis 41:41-43,  Dan 2:48, Eccel 2:26, Jeremiah 29:11 (my favorite), Ezekiel 16:53. There are so many Scriptures to back up the blessings offered. I want to be restored, renewed, enjoy increase in my life. I refuse negativity, I embrace the good.

 I  live in a world where being accepted by others is what I once thought  I wanted to be. I thought being and doing what my friends did   was normal. I thought everyone around me was normal. I thought I was not normal so I tried to be “normal” like them . I was in bondage to many things. That’s the right word too, BONDAGE. Thinking I was a free independent person when I was not. Being a slave to money, accepting unacceptable behavior, being a workaholic so that I could attain a certain status or station in my life, being prideful and trying to get by like everyone else was. Doing things I never ever thought I would do. Little by little I was degrading myself, being cut off from what was good and clean and wholesome. I was a wreck, losing my self esteem and self respect. Chipped away little by little. Heavy shoulders, big burdens, ignorant of many things. For all my accomplishments I also kept getting knocked back on my rear. Over and over not knowing why.

I kept thinking God, I’m a good person, why God? Why is this happening? What is it that I’m doing wrong? One thing I did learn through all my trials and tribulations is that God does hear me. I just needed to recognize the answer when it  is presented to me.I had to have my eyes,ears and heart wide open. I had to RECEIVE the answer. It’s like an ah-ha moment. Okay I get it now. It’s not about me. It’s about Him. He’s my father, my Abba, my daddy. Like no father I ever had before. With Him I can do so much more than without Him. 

Thank God that I have been found and saved. Saved from myself, from sin, from Satan. I was a very lost sheep. Faking my way, hoping the next big catastrophic event would not spiral down to the pits of despair, desperation, helplessness and homelessness. I had incredible stress in my life.

It took awhile but  I am so thankful for who, what and where I am in my life. I have had many changes and losses but the  next changes, the good ones, the positive ones, I look forward to.  I have good Christian support systems. I try on a regular basis to do what I’m supposed to do in my  Christian life. Some days are more difficult than others. It’s not easy trying to live as Jesus wants me to live. But through Him all things are possible.

I believe in the messages, the affirmations of wealth, health, prosperity, and restoration. They don’t necessarily mean that I’ll be monetarily rich. I believe they mean that I’ll be a lot better off than I was before, when I was lost.

Blessings, Mary

 

Living Beyond Limits Newsletter

Friend,

 

Over the past month, I have been attempting to contact free-standing hyperbaric facilities about the release of my book, Fighting the Dragon: How I Beat Multiple Sclerosis. Hyperbaric oxygen therapy was the first treatment that started the reversal of many of my multiple sclerosis symptoms and actually stopped what had become steady and persistent deterioration.

In mid-October this year, I took the book to the Tampa Bay Times Festival of Reading. Most unknown authors’ meet and greet a lot of festival attendees. Many of these people attend to hear well-known authors speak, but buy few, if any, books from the “unknowns.” However, the theory goes, authors’ “face time” with the “potential audience” may produce future sales, especially if the writers hand out bookmarks or other promotional material with information on how to order their books.

My experience? I sold TWELVE copies of “Fighting the Dragon” at the Festival, mostly to people who had a family member, friend, or co-worker suffering the disease. “I’m giving this to my aunt for Christmas,” one woman told me. Another told me his copy was going to a cousin who lives in Germany. “A Christmas gift,” he said. I left the festival tired, but thrilled. The story was “getting out,” even as far away as Germany.

Ten days later, on Halloween (October 31), I dropped candy and 2 “bookmarks”—a 3”X4” Fighting the Dragon trading card and a bookmark advertising my children’s book, The Whose-its and Whats-its into the bags of the trick-or-treaters. Result? A few online (CreateSpace and Amazon) sales within the next couple of days.

On November 7, I set up a display of my books and gave a Creativity presentation to a writing group. The next day, I had another little “pop” in online sales—whether from Halloween or the speech, I’m not certain.  

In that same week after the festival, the doctor who treated me with hyperbaric oxygen called. “I just had a patient walk in here with your book,” he told me. “She’s excited about starting hyperbaric oxygen and low dose naltrexone. What can you tell me about LDN?”

I apologized that I had not yet gotten a copy of the book to him—his facility is a good hour away and I was hoping to set up some time to sit down and talk with him. However, I did explain the dosing to him and then referred him to Skip Lenz at Skip’s Pharmacy, a compounding pharmacy that specializes in LDN. Skip was invaluable when I was working on the book, and probably the most knowledgeable person I know when it comes to LDN.

I had tried to tell the hyperbaric doctor about LDN almost a year previously . . . but with the book . . . and Skip’s guidance, I think we may have gained a convert. I hope so.

About a week after I sent Skip a copy of the book, I tried to contact him to make sure he got it. He wasn’t available. Then, one afternoon last week, he called me. “I wanted to make sure you got my book,” I said.

“I did,” he said. “Guess where it is.”

“I haven’t the vaguest,” I said.

He then proceeded to tell me that he had gone to an International Leadership Conference in Moloba, Equatorial Guinea (West Africa). “I took your book to read on the plane,” he said. “When I got there, I talked with the Minister of Health and he wanted to see what I was reading.”

The end result? The Minister of Health absconded with the book and refused to give it back. “Expect something big,” Skip told me, “bigger than you can imagine, in six to eight months.” He gave me no further hints. Amazing to think that a self-published book which has been out for a month is now halfway around the world.

A few days later, I got a call from a woman in Canada who had heard of the book, but found she couldn’t order it onAmazon.ca. I redirected her to the CreateSpace site:www.createspace.com/3953919, and she called me a few minutes later to tell me she had successfully ordered the book. Createspace verified that the book would not be available on Canadian Amazon, but that anyone, anywhere in the world, could get it on Amazon.com. Now I know.

So, in between résumés, writer’s coaching, and editing, I am now planning the second Dragon book, where I will talk about how the therapies discussed in the first can be applied to other autoimmune conditions, cancer, and AIDS.

Today, I recontacted the hyperbaric facilities and talked with a man who told me to send the book to Michelle Obama and to contact local radio stations, and the major talk shows (Oprah and Dr. Phil). I’m having an interesting time wrapping my head around that one.

Curious how a thirty year path to what seemed total loss only four years ago could turn around and lead to something that appears to be doing so much good. I have been truly blessed.

Copyright Notice

Copyright © 2012  All rights reserved 

Sandra Kischuk, Writer, Editor, and Success Coach

The writing on this page may be freely forwarded in its entirety and must include this copyright notice.    

The use of the material for any other purpose, in part or in whole, oral or written, or in any form reproduced, presented, or recorded, is only by express written consent of the author. 

*        *        *         *

Fighting the Dragon: How I Beat Multiple Sclerosis is available in standard print atwww.createspace.com/3953919

and large print at:www.createspace.com/3967215

Also on Amazon and in popular ebook formats.


See The Whose-its and Whats-itsat: www.createspace.com/3743939

See my coaching website at:        LivingBeyondLimits.com

See my writing website at: http://www.SandraKischuk.com

“I change lives.”

*   *   *

Sandra teaches online writing courses at Coffee House for Writers:

www.coffeehouseforwriters.com

– The First Edit: Finding and Fixing Your Writing Errors

– Your Personal Editor

– Grantwriting

 

Living Beyond Limits, 2107 West Fore Drive, Tampa, FL 33612
Blog: livingbeyondlimits.com
Writing site: sandrakischuk.com

E-mail: Sandra@LivingBeyondLimits.com

Phone:  813.935.7760

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My life has gone through many changes. In the past few years, some very dramatic and renewing life changing events. It was when I lost everything that I actually found so much more than what I lost.

I was a hospice nurse. I loved my patients, the families, and my job. For me, I was a  career hospice nurse ,and I loved it. It brought me much satisfaction in my inner self. I learned so much about people, compassion, families, family dynamics, pain and suffering, and most of all Spirituality. I was comfortable in knowing I did my job well. I took good care of my patients. I was committed to making them as comfortable as possible.

I have learned so much from my patients and their families. I am so very grateful for the privilege of caring for them.

When I first began caring for hospice patients I prayed often. For them and their families and also for myself. I asked God to help me be a good nurse and to be what He wanted me to be.

I prayed quietly to myself at the bedside of the dying. I prayed in my car, at home, in church wherever I was. I asked for understanding. When I had questions I prayed for answers. He ALWAYS delivered the answers to me in an “ah ha ” kind of way. I saw the answers right there,  right at that moment. It was always “wow, I can see what you mean”.

Somehow I began losing sight of Him. Oh I went to church, I still prayed, I was still a good nurse but slowly I got caught up in the world. The world of taking care of myself. Of making a living, taking care of my house, truck, pets and yard, paying my credit cards and household bills, the list goes on . I coveted things, I actually  worshiped  idols. The idols of capitalism. Don’t misunderstand me. I enjoyed shopping, hunting down things. Even though it was mainly thrift  and discount stores. Owning second hand items didn’t bother me. But putting work, the house, yard and material items before God is a big no-no. God is a jealous God. Even though they were not golden calves or statues of other gods, I put them first.

I still helped people though. I enjoy helping others. Helping others is a big part of my life. I feel it’s something I’m supposed to do. Not realizing I also needed help.

 Being blindsided. I thought, “I want to be like everyone else, a good citizen, have a good credit score, my own home etc”.

I didn’t realize at the time that it was okay to be me.Where I was in life, it was alright, hard working, dedicated, aspiring, alone but not lonely, always trying to do the right thing. I kept myself busy, not afraid to take little adventures. Go places near and far by myself. I learned not to depend on others for my happiness.

As much as I wanted to be like others I was deep down glad I was not. I never realized how much I was putting on myself. Proud of my INDEPENDENCE. I can fix almost anything. I can work more, I can do this, I can do that. Being independent I thought was a good thing. Actually it alienates people. Others think you never need help with anything so they stop asking you. They get put off by your independence, thinking you can do so much more for yourself you don’t need anyone.

Actually, I find that my  independence came from loss. No help to do things, to help get stuff done, to go places with, no one had time to comfort or console, to bounce ideas off of, or to share with. I became stronger in my resolve that I didn’t need anyone, I can do it. I became more independent. A cycle round and round. All the while praying to God,asking and asking so many questions.  Looking for why me, why not, how come?

Then my life changed. I got hurt at work. Went through all the required rehabs, surgeries, rehab again, insurance and job requirements.  Ultimately due to “economic forecasters” ( my terms) I and 26 other people, mostly nurses and home health aides were laid off.  Oh my gosh what a disaster! My life passed before me at the speed of light. What about my home, my credit, my, my, my. All about me. To make a very long ( 5 year or so) story short, I lost my career, my home, my physical self and wound up with a physical disability from my injuries, and severe arthritis from long years of hard  work. But yet I still wanted to go back and continue what I was doing just as before.

I had to accept my many losses. It was hard to do. I grieved often, prayed often and hoped for answers. I dealt with my grief, yes I grieved. I went through the grief process for each of my losses. I had to change.  I did that with God’s help. He put wonderful people in my path along this very painful journey. I became a born again Christian. I saw that God was always there, I had to get ME out of the way. I prayed the confusion to be cleared and I that I would have wisdom and healing. I have been fast tracking, hungry for the Lord. I realize my thinking before was corrupted by worldly things. I understand now what principalities are. I know I am a warrior bride for Christ. I have purpose and meaning in my life. I am into the Word first thing every morning. I get up earlier to do that. I verbalize my praise and thanks all day long. What I gained is so much more empowering. Life affirming. The veil is lifted.

I am on the biggest adventure yet! I don’t have to just survive or try to be like the other fish in the fishbowl. I trust in God, He will provide for me, He directs my steps. I am not alone, my eyes and heart are open.  I am on an awesome journey. A marvelous adventure! And I just love new adventures!

Blessings, Mary

This is an awesome testimony of perseverance, endurance and overcoming challenges. Please read her newsletter.

If you have trouble in viewing this email, please click hereTo ensure delivery of these Emails to your inbox, please add Sandra@LivingBeyondLimits.com to your email address book.

 

Living Beyond Limits Newsletter

Friend,I have battled multiple sclerosis for over thirty years. About four years ago, I realized I was going to end up in an assisted living within about two years. I could no longer go from one end of the house to the other without sitting and resting. If I walked down to the mailbox (maybe fifty feet total), I had to come back inside and take a nap. After I got a pan out of a lower kitchen cupboard, I had to crawl across the floor to pull myself up with the edge of the sink. By then, I was too tired to cook.

Exacerbations slammed me four times a year, even though I was on Avonex. Each one left me in worse condition . . . and I was no longer recovering from them. The once weekly Avonex injection made me feel like I had flu six days a week. I walked into walls and fell at least twice a week . . . and I couldn’t think well past about 2:00 in the afternoon. I was so ill, I rarely left the house. I knew I was in trouble—BIG TIME.

In desperation, I handicapped the house, raising the floor in the sunken family room, putting safety rails and “comfort height” toilets in the bathrooms, and “pan drawers” in the kitchen. I simplified things as much as I could, doing my best to conserve what little energy I had.

Then Mom heard some information from Julian Whitaker, MD, of the Whitaker Wellness Institute about the use of hyperbaric oxygen for MS. I found a facility and underwent about 30 treatments, which stabilized me for the first time in years.

A few months later, Dr. Whitaker talked about using Low Dose Naltrexone for MS. Naltrexone is used at full dose (50 mg.) for opiate addiction and alcoholism. At a lower dose, it “balances” the immune system . . . and can be used in this way for autoimmune diseases, cancers, and AIDS. However, MOST doctors will not prescribe it.

This week, I release a new book.Fighting the Dragon: How I Beat Multiple Sclerosis details my journey from a nightmare to a far more “normal” life. I provide my history, which highlights some potential triggers MS readers might recognize. I tell how to find the “right kind” of hyperbaric facilities (“hyperbaric bags” DO NOT WORK – and I explain WHY), how to find doctors who will prescribe low dose naltrexone, and how to get this prescription medication (even how to “mix” your own). I explain dosage . . . in enough detail a patient can take it to his/her doctor . . . and calculate the correct dosage for adults, children, or even pets.

Today I cook, garden, and even walk around the neighborhood. I still have other health issues which slow me down – fibromyalgia, narcolepsy (sleep attacks), and cataplexy (momentary paralysis or collapse with strong emotion), but have learned to live around them—pacing myself, taking frequent breaks, and napping when my body demands it.  

However, I have not had any permanent MS deterioration since starting the hyperbaric oxygen. And once I started LDN, the exacerbations stopped. I quit taking Copaxone (another of the “approved” MS drugs) over a year ago after I experienced the side effects of crushing chest, jaw, and shoulder pain. Now I am “flying” on Low Dose Naltrexone alone . . . knowing that I have a hyperbaric oxygen “backup plan” if the “Dragon” ever decides again to raise its ugly little head.  

FLYING? It has taken a while to untangle the emotional impact of living for so many years with such a volatile chronic condition. However, I can say today that I NO LONGER live in FEAR . . . and after thirty years of terror, the feeling is AMAZING!

 

“This is a remarkable book—well-written with solid research and a very inspiring story.”

—Julian Whitaker, MD, Whitaker Wellness Institute

 

“Good read, to the point and no propaganda.”

—Skip Lenz, PharmD, Skip’s Pharmacy

 

“We applaud you on your bravery and perseverance. Not only have you gone outside the box, you share your journey with so many others that may feel alone and desperate until now. The use of Hyperbaric medicine in the treatment of neurologic conditions is still an untapped resource in our arsenal against MS, ALS, Alzheimer’s, Stroke recovery, Autism and many more.”

—Staff, Neubauer Hyperbaric Neurologic Center

 

Paperback copies of Fighting the Dragon are available at:

(standard print)            www.createspace.com/3953919

(large print)                  www.createspace.com/3967215

Also available on Amazon and in Nook and Kindle formats.

 

Copyright Notice

Copyright © 2012  All rights reserved 

Sandra Kischuk, Writer, Editor, and Success Coach

The writing on this page may be freely forwarded in its entirety and must include this copyright notice.    

The use of the material for any other purpose, in part or in whole, oral or written, or in any form reproduced, presented, or recorded, is only by express written consent of the author. 

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Fighting the Dragon: How I Beat Multiple Sclerosis is available in standard print atwww.createspace.com/3953919

and large print at:www.createspace.com/3967215

Also on Amazon and in popular ebook formats.


See The Whose-its and Whats-itsat: www.createspace.com/3743939

See my coaching website at:        LivingBeyondLimits.com

See my writing website at: http://www.SandraKischuk.com

“I change lives.”

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Sandra teaches online writing courses at Coffee House for Writers:

www.coffeehouseforwriters.com

– The First Edit: Finding and Fixing Your Writing Errors

– Your Personal Editor

– Grantwriting

 

Living Beyond Limits, 2107 West Fore Drive, Tampa, FL 33612
Blog: livingbeyondlimits.com
Writing site: sandrakischuk.com

E-mail: Sandra@LivingBeyondLimits.comPhone: 813.935.7760
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