Not again It must be the people I choose to be around. I have always accepted people the way they were. I would say to myself, “If we were all blind would we know what color skin the other person would have?” In the same way we were ALL born with the same SIN. The same propensity to be bad, to hurt, to curse, to kill and be cruel. We all also have the same CHOICES. To be GOOD or BAD. To be able to live a specific lifestyle is only up to us and has always been only up to us. We choose our direction. Even after we have been born into a terrible family. When we are blessed with getting old enough to get out of it we can choose to leave and reeducate ourselves on living a better life. Learning how to be kind, loving and gentle. Feeling what it is to be hugged and loved by others without it having sexual connotations or evil intentions.

We are not animals, God our Father elevated us above the animals. We have an intelligent brain to learn and think and process emotions. Love is a very strong emotion, our heavenly Father knows this. He offers this all the time. It’s up to us, our choice to see that He’s doing that for us. He loves us. He listens to us over and over again. He let me speak and rant and cry until I figured it out. I never really expected it either.

Whenever I have a “friend” crisis I go to my Father again asking why? I accept people whenever they have their problems. their malfunctions and quirks. I take them back again and again in friendship with open arms being a good friend because I thought that’s what Jesus would want me to do. Until that one last time. That last time for no reason again, my friend became incommunicado (again) no reason, it was as if she fell off the Earth. I had to think all of this through, why do I have friends like this? Good sometimes then absent for absolutely no reason? Is it me? Is it mental? Is it something else? Then I thought you know what, it’s a form of abuse. Out and out abuse. And I don’t deserve to be abused by anyone. I’m a good person, I help people, I’m friendly, knowledgeable and I’m not apologizing to anyone if they’re jealous or they don’t like me. I’m the daughter of a King, and He loves me just the way I am.

I have categories of friendships, long-term friendships, my BFF’s and my church friends, my work friends, and acquaintances. I think many people do that, have people in different categories subconsciously as a form of prioritization. Not everyone is your best friend nor your acquaintance. But depending on how you choose your friendships and work on the relationships they can turn into someone you really don’t know that well.

Talking to my Father really helped me work out the friend crisis I was going through. I’m sure I’ll still have to keep talking to Him. I always have stuff going on.