Category: Faith


Lately I have been filled with self pity and remorse. I try not to be so down but my mind starts filling with sad memories at this time of year and I battle my personal demons. I say personal because they know just how to get to me. Like some terrible old friends that I try to put out of my life but then there they are again.

Trying not to be triggered by certain things doesn’t help. It’s almost as if the enemy knows the back door to my mind and pries it open, flooding it, overwhelming my mind with self doubt and self pity. I begin to doubt my accomplishments,  strengths, direction, abilities, creativity and then my Faith.

I delve deeper into a full blown pity party. Thinking negatively towards myself I begin to think ‘poor me’, ‘no good at anything’, ‘left out of everything. Yep, full blown pity party. It started months ago.

I’ve been job hunting now for quite some time. With every resume sent and not responded to it chipped away at my self esteem, doubt in myself and skills increased. I responded by sending out more resumes, digging my heels in so to speak.

Determined more than ever to get a job. Nothing happened. Thinking it must be because I lack something I signed up for classes while waiting for responses. Nothing happened.

 Having feelings of abandonment (that’s a childhood trigger), I IMAGINE that no one cares. all the while my friends take me to lunch , sometimes dinner, give me gas money for my car, bring me as a guest to their functions, and try to show their love for me and compassion for my situation. My friends are awesome. But, because I can’t seem to let go of this baggage the feelings only increase with every kindness. It’s almost as if I have an echo in my mind that for every kindness towards me I imagine a negative feeling.

I’ve been desperately seeking employment, my Social Security check is not enough and I am also slightly disabled. My life direction lately has actually changed from volunteering in my church’s food pantry to being involved with the disabled community and also with people that also like to  help others. Which is such a wonderful thing and something I am always interested in, helping others.

I have recently been included in two new programs, one for an online  school for the disabled and another for community TV and radio to showcase disabled and local Long Islanders assisting community residents in connecting with and helping others. Perfect, right up my alley so to speak. What a Blessing. It is almost too good to be true but it is. My life direction is changing and it feels strangely wonderful. Except for my baggage that I had carrying around with me. That baggage was beginning to be quite a burden (evil spirits are no fun), I still wallow.

I have been BLESSED by so many people yet I wallow. Why do I wallow? I know now that it’s  IDOL WORSHIP because I focus on myself. Yes, indulging in self pity and self degradation is looking only at yourself. Being selfish so to speak. I thought I was just down on myself but its actually a lot worse than that. I also know now that I’m wallowing in PRIDE because I have difficulty accepting (receiving) from others. I’m usually the one that gives to others, now I have to learn how to  receive. It’s not easy for me, that’s where the Pride comes in. I learned about all these in Bible Study classes, oh yeah, I also learned about the Spirit of the Python, squeezing the life out of me. Thank God that was caught in time.

Having  been riding the fence with TRUST in GOD. Sure, He most definitely provided for me all my life not just these past years, but I needed to also provide for myself. I couldn’t just sit around waiting now could I?

Until early this morning I would have still been wallowing. What changed?

Prayer. Everyday I talk with God and ask for help of some type, like a babbling child. Show me the way God, talk to me God, hey God are you listening? Can’t you see I’m hurting and in trouble here?

Sure He can, I think He just waited until I finished babbling and wallowing.  Thank you Jesus for speaking to me today.

One of the things that changed was a remark I heard from a tele- Evangelist Christmas show. You’d think that since Christmas has been broadcast all around me I would have realized it sooner. That since I’m a Christian I’d have paid much more attention to the meaning of Christmas. Not really.

No, I was too busy wallowing, until this morning. I heard a small voice, the reason is the birth of His Son (my Savior). I thought it was the TV, maybe it doesn’t matter as long as I heard it and remembered the reason we celebrate Christmas.  Not for a tree or a jolly old man in a red suit, or for all the gifts handed back and forth, but because of a very special baby boy being born to a poor young couple in a stable . That couple were living in a wicked harsh world, raw and rough no amenities of any kind.

It was like a breakthrough for me, I can visualize it in my mind as if I was there. Look at all that I have, even if I have nothing there are so many people that are so much worse off than I am. The burden is lifted, I have much gratitude for the opportunities, family, friends and even the problems that I might think I have. I only have to remember that it was because God gave us His Son to go through all that He had to go through to show us the Way back to Him.

I can hear and see His messages to me in other peoples conversations. I see it in the beauty of the sky and the nature around me. I have my Joy and Peace back.

  I’m celebrating the birth of my Savior, the one who found me and forgave me and loves me for who I am, now and forever. The One who saved me from Hell.

Thank you Jesus, I heard one of my favorite Scriptures tonight:

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (NIV)

Merry Christmas 

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Another year is upon us, and we’re beginning to plow through it. Why does it always have to be so hectic at the end of each year? It’s supposed to be a time of family, love and retrospect into our lives. Not the rush- rush we all manage to get into. Don’t let the media and the retail stores dictate to you on how to run your lives.

Believe it or not we are all here for a reason. We belong here we just didn’t crawl out from under some rock. Learn where you came from and under whose authority you really live.

Take back the time that is micro managed by the events that are money driven. There are forces of unseen or unknown to some of us working behind the scenes of our everyday lives to change, corrupt, disrupt and manipulate us into being molded into something we really don’t want to be, to do or to go in a dictated direction. You know, for our own good. Or the good of the people around us.

Breathe, just breathe. Breathing helps, it gives us time to slow down. Smell the roses and all that. That’s right, slowly inhale with your eyes lightly closed, a nice even breath. There you go, doing it already, it might take a little practice. Most of us are not used to stopping even for a minute or two to be conscious of our breathing.

We become programmed to be part of a big collective. We don’t even know it. Hurry hurry, rush here and there so we can rush back to where? Oh yes, back to the start, home base. Just keep going and doing so you don’t or can’t pay attention to what’s important. Everyone becomes exhausted and edgy and not knowing why.We can easily lose ourselves in what society or others want.

Keep your family really close, no matter what relationship you have. Deal with it, work it out, fix it, forgive, forgive, forgive. Ask to be forgiven. Believe in Love. Believe you are worthy, everything’s a risk, a chance to begin again. Like Springtime being a renewal of the Earth.

It’s refreshing, being forgiven, or forgiving someone. It’s like being in Love again for the first time. You see them differently and feel differently about yourself.

Take charge of your life, it’s something that was given to you as a gift. Picture yourself holding this beautiful present, wrapped so lovely, it looks wonderful and so mysterious with a great big bow on it. You open it so very slowly with much anticipation and excitement for the future. You pull the ribbons of the bow with ease so as not to knot the bow.

The ribbons fall slowly to the ground and you lift the lid to see inside. Breathing in  deeply the warm and relaxing aromas of Spring inside this gift. Such enlightenment much Joy. The happiness of being given this precious and very expensive gift.

God gave us this gift. The gift of life. Open with exhilaration, gladness, and anticipation for the next gifts to come. Welcome Him. He wants us to take time for Him, not to rush around so much that we forget to  have enough time for Him.

If you can just believe that all He wants is to take care of you and yours the change in your lives will become remarkable. It’s all about Love and Forgiveness. It’s all about Him. Just believe and breathe. Blessings, Mary

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It seems we take so much for granted. As we get older we just figure that’s the way it is or it ought to be. I am so thankful when I wake up each morning. And hopeful that the day offers me enough time to continue making myself a better person. Extra time for forgiveness and to be forgiven. Time for healing inside and out. Time to know joy and redemption and time to be a blessing and not a burden to others. I see the beauty in trees, animals, the sky above and this earth we walk on. The bugs, the wind,and all the things that man thinks he has made. In reality God made it all. This is Gods green earth not ours. But I digress.

When I go about my day and  I find that I have a need for something, more food, another pair of shoes, a coat, things around the house or car I stop and talk to God about it. After all He is my Abba Father.

“God I know you know everything from beginning to end, and I know you know all my needs. I’m just reminding you God, my Abba Father because I know how busy you are with  other peoples needs and I’m sure they are much bigger than mine. But God I sure can use …. or ….” .  Whatever I ask for out of a TRUE need I receive. It’s about faith and trust that He will provide ALL my needs. I just have to open my eyes and I’ll see it. Oh, and I also need to accept the way the help or assistance comes.

As an example, I was putting on a pair of shoes that I had owned for about five years. I noticed the increased wear and tear and knew that I was going to need another pair. I usually try to get more than one pair whenever I do buy shoes or sneakers so if the one pair was worsening so were the others I use. Because I alternate their use. I can’t afford high end anything so whenever I get the opportunity I go to Walmart or some inexpensive store and buy a few  pairs because they are cheap, and I really dislike shoe shopping. I was just talking to God about the need for another pair of shoes. I didn’t think anymore about it. I didn’t have the money at the time anyway and like I said previously, I really do not like shoe shopping.

 I had received  a final check for being out on a medical leave. I was almost on empty in my car. After getting gas I had a few extra dollars left. That check I received was not expected, I’m very grateful. I was due to go to work the following week.

 I was driving past a shopping center when I suddenly decided to check out the new Goodwill donation thrift store that had opened up.

It was a snowy post blizzard day so the parking lot was empty. Going into the store and browsing around I noticed the shoe rack. On the shoe rack I found three pairs of well made brand new leather shoes in my size. Two pair were the same style, different colors and the third was a beautiful pair of tasseled leather loafers. I was absolutely amazed. I checked the prices with the clerk and the three pairs of shoes came to less than forty dollars. I had about forty three dollars left. The clerk asked me if I had the senior discount  key tag. “Let me check” I said. Sure enough not only did I get a discount for being a senior but also because of the day of the week I received another discount. Awesomeness!  God heard me He knew I needed shoes for when I returned to work. And He supplied my need. 

Since I am not particularly fussy about brand name, brand new off the shelf items or the latest fad the blessings were more discreet, on the quiet side you might say. At first I hardly noticed them.  God is such a gentleman. it dawned on me that most people would call them wishes or just plain luck. Not me, I know it’s God.

I like thrift stores, antiques, second hand items. To me they have a comfort-ability about them and sometimes it’s a great treasure hunt. Don’t get me wrong I like new things too but I don’t mind receiving used items. I try to take care of the things I own. Some things last me years. One day while going through an old photo album I saw a picture of myself in a shirt that I still owned. It was still in great shape too, no color fade or stretching out. I just cracked up laughing. I had to donate that shirt. It was a Disney shirt, baseball style. So comfortable and soft. Also about 15 years old. It was on clearance at the Disney store at Disney World in Orlando Florida when I went there to meet up with one of my sisters. I’m quite the saver. I remembered one of my good friends commented that she wanted the shirt when I was ready to give it up. So I finally, (big sigh) mailed it to her. She was very happy to receive it.

One night I was going through my pajama draw to get ready for bed. I looked at what I had and was thinking ‘ Geez Louise Mary, you’ve got to do something about your pajamas’. I love tee shirts and fleece or flannel pants and I was out looking in the discount stores to price them so I would have an idea of the cost. Making mental notes to self I just put the thoughts out of my head until I had been paid from my job after I returned to work.

A good friend of mine  often gives me donated items and clothes. She often tells me to take something if I need it for myself. and she often gives me bagfuls to bring with me when I go to the different places that I volunteer for. I usually separate the items into appropriate bags for their destinations.  Going through the bags I found a couple of pairs of pajamas. Very similar to what I was needing. I took them out and added the same amount of items from my own clothes to the bags. I have a personal policy that if I bring something into my home something else leaves. Helps keep clutter down. That’s on top of other things I donate.

So here I was looking at these pajamas and praising God for provision. I also thanked my friend, for her good works. God is an awesome God working through people, places and things.

I’m so glad my eyes are open to see so that upon seeing I am receiving. What a great feeling it is. The blessings are  all around us we just have to open our eyes. The blessing of a beautiful day, a child being born, the smile of a child, a field of flowers, a forest of trees If you need to learn how just call on Jesus, take a long deep breath, open your eyes and breathe out slowly. It’s all right there in front of you, now receive it.

Blessings to all, 

Mary

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Today after listening to my favorite  television Bible teachers  this question came into my mind, “How many times do you have to lose everything before you figure it all out? Just what is it going to take? How high is your tolerance for pain, your blindness, your denial or your stubbornness?

I know in the past mine was pretty high, actually it was extremely high. I could handle anything. I could take care of it myself. I have a plan for my life. I can see clearly my goals and aspirations. I am independent and I don’t need anyone to help me. I can do it myself.

Get my point yet? I was cruising along struggling to get by, taking care of my house, yard, truck, health, faith, and it took awhile.  I thought I had it all figured out, independent and determined to succeed. “I” had no idea that “I” was not in control of my destiny.

It was all “I”, “I”, “I”, see where this is going? Like Humpty Dumpty “I” was getting ready for a great fall.

 In retrospect there was no way of knowing that God was going to intercede in my life in a grand way. Having mentioned this in previous blogs, about my losing everything, house, independence, my goals and aspirations and basically whom “I” was at the time, I am now a new person. Actually I lose myself everyday. Then with the new day I become a new person, and that happens everyday.

I often give things away that were given to me to pass on to others. I have seen God work through me and in the other people that are now part of my life.  Always being a giving person offering to help others I found that to be my ministry of sorts.

Actually I’m not even positive it’s a ministry for me. It just really happened, it became something I do often. God made me good at scrounging around for myself since money and food were in short supply. So I became better at what I was always good at.When I think of all “I” have been through and the exciting paths that are before me now, I have anticipation for the new adventures.

Starting over for me before I found Christ was always something difficult, a chore, looking for food, shelter, jobs and new friends. Now since I don’t have to worry about that at all, it has increased my blessings. Increased them so much that I have an over abundance to share with others. Before it was about me, myself and I. How was I going to make it? Can I get a job? What about a place to live? And food? Sure, I still get desires for worldly goods. Recently I was beginning to be concerned about getting new pants for work. I had to stop myself from thinking over and over how was I going to get them. New clothes are not in my budget at all I remember saying to myself, “o.k, enough of that, God will take care of me, God IS taking care of me, it’ll be alright”. That same day, a woman friend I volunteer with at the Monday Soup Kitchen came to me with a clothes hanger covered in dry cleaner plastic and said to me, “Mary these are three brand new pairs of pants do you want them? Wow, blew me away. God that was quick. Isn’t He awesome?

Don’t get me wrong, I have a great place to live, a full refrigerator and freezer. BUT GOD did that for me. I don’t struggle now like I did before I found Jesus. I used to really worry about how I was going to make it. I lost everything in my life a few times and had to start over. When I look back at my life I can see that I did make it after all. He found me. He saved me. It’s probably hard for the non believer to accept but once they do, it’s an awesome experience. I am free.

Now that Jesus is in control and taking care of me, there’s nothing for me to worry about. Because if I make it all about Him there’s nothing ever to worry about.

Thank you Jesus for finding me a lost sheep. thank you Jesus for forgiving me. Thank you Jesus for dying on the Cross and taking on the sins of the world.

 

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These  four little words are so profound. So deep. So thought provoking and even disturbing.

What have I become?

I even have difficulty writing about it. I have been so many things. Child, sister, mother, wife, friend, co worker, neighbor, statistic. I looked up the definitions of  “I, Have and Become” Posted below.

“I”:

I  is the first-person singular nominative case personal pronoun in Modern English. It is used to refer to one’s self and is capitalized, although other pronouns, such as he or she, are not capitalized.

“Have”:

1have verb \ˈhav, (h)əv, v; in “have to” meaning “must” usually ˈhaf\
had hav·ing has

1
a : to hold or maintain as a possession, privilege, or entitlement  <I have my rights>
b : to hold in one’s use, service, regard, or at one’s disposal
c : to hold, include, or contain as a part or whole
2
: to feel obligation in regard to
3
: to stand in a certain relationship to
4
a : to acquire or get possession of : obtain <these shoes are the best to be had>
b : receive <had news>
c : accept; specifically : to accept in marriage,

 

“BECOME”:

be·come verb \bi-ˈkəm, bē-\
: to begin to be or come to be something specified : to begin to have a specified quality

: to look attractive on (someone) : to be flattering to (someone)

1
a : to come into existence
b : to come to be <become sick>
2
: to undergo change or development
: to be suitable to
— become of
: to happen to

 

We get accustomed to using words loosely. We take them for granted the power in words and behind them. There were so many things “I had to have”, “had to become”, and the things I “became”. I struggled and fought for it all. To be, to become like everyone else. I was so ignorant, and wrong, I was fooled into believing I needed to become what others wanted me to become. To become what I thought I should become. Jesus taught me to put away that thinking. To trust the Holy Spirit, not the body, mind or world.

I was all those things mentioned and more. Those were were only the good words, the ones everyone is used to hearing. They say a lot but then again much is left out. When I was a child I did childish immature things, as a sister I was the one to do most of the work because I was the eldest. Taking on the inexperience and lack of love from parents I struggled to love and care for my siblings. As a wife I loved and  tolerated much. As a friend I loved and extended myself outward to others, giving the honest me. As a co worker I loved my jobs even though I didn’t want to. I offered my friendship honestly at work and outside of work. As a neighbor, I tried loving them, mostly if my friendship and outstretched hand was rejected I pulled back. I kept to myself. Always willing to help but hesitating, watching and waiting.I was and I am a statistic. That’s the way the world looks at me. Born, living, dead, tracked though out life, a statistic (that will be another story)

But there’s more:

I was a sinner also. I went my way listening to everything, watching everything, hearing and learning about how I should live in this world. What society expects of me. How I “should” do this or “must ” do that.

My thinking started out pure, clean and open, wanting to learn, to be part of, to do the right thing. Doing what others do, liking what they like, eating and drinking the same foodstuffs.

Geez Louise. “what have I become”? I cry whenever I think about it. I’m older now and so much time has gone by. I think, if only I knew then what I should look for, look up to, live for, believe in, if only I knew.

I was saved almost five years ago. I have been fast tracking as a Christian. I’m so hungry for the Lord. Knowing how much time is behind me and not knowing the time in front of me I want to BECOME more Christ like . Learn my lessons quickly, force Satan out of my life, my memories, my everything. Push onward, be a blessing, give blessings. Make myself conform to the right thing. Yes it’s hard and painful, I still hurt and cry and carry on.

I ask the Lord, “Why did it take so long for me to find you”? He reminds me that I needed all those lessons to BECOME what He wants me to become.

He saved me for the time which is now. I am a Warrior Bride for Christ.

 Thank you Jesus. Praise Him Always.

What have YOU Become?

 

 

 

 

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Lately Lord I have noticed more aggression around me. Driving on a well known main road near my home, on my way to work, the store, church, laundromat or going to my sons house there are just so many people pushing past me. I’m already doing a little over the speed limit as it is. Drivers that should yield when they are in a yield lane zoom past just to get in front of you. It doesn’t matter that some of them are passing down the middle medium where no passing is permitted. I have seen them pass in the middle, on the shoulders, good weather, rainstorms and blizzards. No regard for others, no regard for life, theirs or anyone else’s. Look at the slideshow. Do they look happy, joyful or contented? They look like they want someone to pay, one way or another they wll vent their anger and pain.

Customers in stores demand a discount or want to return a well worn or broken item, whether or not they have the coupon or requirements met or not. They harass and raise their voices to get their way. Or, they yell out, “get me the manager”. So  the manager will come and give them what they want because of wanting to give good customer service. Instead of making people accountable for their actions and behaviors we cave in. We are bullied in stores, in doctors offices, by insurance companies, government agencies,  just about everywhere.  

What is happening to us? What are we becoming?  There is anger everywhere, in music, movies, schools, homes, everywhere. We need to take a stand. I personally don’t want  to become like my enemy, you know who I mean, satan, the evil and nasty one. I want to be like Jesus. Goodness, peace, serenity, light.

Ever since they took prayer out of school, restricted parents from discipling their own children, restricted teachers and police offers from correcting our children and being so called politically correct, I have noticed a decline, a decay, a rot setting in. Bullies do what they do because no one stands up to them out of fear of reprisal/repercussion. Living in fear is not of God. It is of the darkness, the evil one, the liar. Bring light to the darkness, do what’s right. Bullies are in pain, have low self esteem , low self worth. They look to be idolized and worshipped. Look at me, I’m bigger, faster, better, stronger, meaner, tougher, louder, smarter, richer, more clever than you are. They’re also lonely, heart broken, love starved, sad and frightened.

Before we were saved by Jesus we were the same. Broken-hearted, helpless, crying out in our own ways.  So my suggestion is to offer these kind words to make a difference. ” I’m sorry if you thought I offended you. Please go ahead of me. Let me get the door for you. May I pray for you? Jesus loves us just the way we are”.

 If we offer kindness as if Jesus was actually standing there with us, then it makes it easier. Remember the Holy Spirit is with us once we’ve accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior. When we set the example, speak softly, kindly, without malice or hostility, use encouraging words and forgiveness (turning the other cheek) we ourselves grow more in Christ. So when someone refuses to yield, I do. When someone wants to raise their voice at me and argue and harass, I lower my voice and try to be nicer. When governmental clerks try to make me accept unacceptable doctrine, I gently remind them that I  am a grown up citizen and I don’t work for them.

Take a stand, Stand up for Jesus, for yourself, your country, your life and for your future generations.  Remember we are children of God, we have royal blood in our veins. We have Abba Father. Let them know they can have Him too.

Blessings, Mary 

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I’m trying hard to be a good Christian, I occasionally feel tempted to declare audible gasps, oh my’s, and Geez Louise’s’ . I see more people leaving the privacy of their homes in their pajamas, in slippers, pants way too big and drooping and sagging down on them. I see men and women wearing tight too small clothing over a rotund, spare tired body.  Don’t they look in the mirror when they get dressed? What do they see? I see and feel the sadness.

I’m overweight myself. The thought of me going out of the house with my belly fat hanging out repulses me. I try to wear clothing that’s a looser fit, you know for bigger people. I don’t try to fool myself into thinking I look good, refined, professional or more feminine by wearing thin tight blouses or low rise pants. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fashionista . I’m working on myself not just spiritually but physically, mentally and emotionally. I get it when the bible says my body is  a temple.

If the Holy Spirit is dwelling within me, He needs a livable place. I try to do regular maintenance. I know my body has issues. But I’m not going to fall for the flesh running my life. That’s a lie from the devil. I used to not even think about how I would look to Jesus. I thought well, he knows I’m a sinner. So that’s how I am. But then I just kept reading the Word daily, watched my favorite tv evangelists, read books,  listen to many preachers and figured out that what I believed was only partly true. Old school, Old Testament. Sure I faithfully believe in the commandments. I learned that those are the ground rules, then once you know the difference between right and wrong, you’re expected to move into the New Testament. The Old Testament is foundation, cornerstone building.  It lets you know, hey, what you’re doing or about to do is wrong.

Open your eyes. What do you see? Jesus wants us to get away from sin, clean up ourselves, take charge of our flesh and worldly things.  He wants us back, He comes looking for us. Can He recognize you? The New Testament is about His Grace and love. He wants us to learn about love, to love others and to love ourselves.

A false image is like a false idol. We do not worship false idols or any idols of any kind. Whether they’re movie stars, musicians,  athletes or models. We worship God, only God and we’re praising Him always in all ways for all we have and don’t have. When we are born again, the Holy Spirit, our Helper comes to dwell within us. I want to make Him proud of me. I want to remain humble and respectful.

At any time I can be called before The Lord. That means, my flesh has died. I’m dead, gone, a memory to friends and family. Standing before God the instant I take my last breath. How will I appear? Will I display a trashy image? Have I tried to do Gods will? I am accountable for my life. Me, myself.

I do not care what the world tells me, what horoscopes, cards, dice, bone tossing, tv, music, fashion or other people try to say or turn me from or toward. It’s my life, I choose not to give it to fantastical lies, strange beliefs or false traditions.

The Holy Spirit lives in me, my personal life and world are changing for the better.  I will care about my body, and whom I represent. I am Gods kid. It’s His group I long to belong to, not worldly groups or gangs. Not what everyone else is doing, saying, wearing or believing, but what my Heavenly Father wants me to do and how He wants me to live.

There’s something comforting knowing that it’s in myself to be able to please Him. To have Him look at me with love, knowing He’s the one that’s always truly loved me unconditionally. When I come before my Abba Father I want to hear “well done, my good and faithful servant.” I want my Daddy to be proud of me.

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It’s not easy walking a narrow path. Trying to live like Jesus wants us to live. Trusting Him completely in a distrusting world. Satan always prowling around (1 Peter 5:7-8). Sometimes it’s difficult to make the right decisions about even just the simplest things. It seems like they escalate into something with a life of it’s own.

An avalanche going downhill, a rockslide, a waterfall. Turning into something else entirely when it gets to the bottom. If you look at it negatively, you might think, “wow, a huge powerful mess just wound up here”. Look at it positively and think, ” will you look at how awesome that is, see the new creation, see the might and strength of what that has become.”  

The avalanche has taken the weight off the mountain and moved earth and debris to the base creating new environment for plants and animals.

The rockslide creates new terrain also taking the mountains weight.

The waterfall as powerful as it is moves the earth and whats in the waters path to the bottom, a pool of churning water making its way yet again along and through the earth.

Powerful, dangerous, sometimes deadly events that through unplanned circumstances are transformed into something good or better than before.

The rocks or snow were dangling and really had no use the way they were,  it’s like the earth was shedding them. Shaking them off.

The waterfall couldn’t just end there at the bottom of the pool, it overflowed and spilled out to start again and start anew.

Being Christian is a lot like that. You die to self. When you surrender your life to Jesus, He takes the old and begins to make it new. When you commit yourself to living Christlike many obstacles can come against you. The pressure is on, things begin to happen. New level new devil. The commitment becomes more challenging. Time changes, conversation, habits, and normal routines morph ever so slightly. Friendships move on and slowly new ones are made. A reshaping, a new you. Sometimes you feel oppressed, or depressed but don’t give into it.

Trust God always. Pray to stay on the narrow path because it’s all worth it in the end. Become a new creation, go through the narrow gate ( Matthew 7:14).

ImageLately I’ve been wondering about a lot of things. I guess that I’ve been getting hungry again.

Three years ago I was saved. I lived in Florida at the time and had many Christian friends and contacts.

Moving to New York I needed to begin again. I found a great church right away, praise the Lord.

Then after awhile I felt a gnawing, a space, a void. I used to be so involved in bible studies, church and various types of worship, fellowshipping, and being a part of several different  things. I found different places to go and discovered  more about myself and my relationship with God.

Now  I don’t have all that contact and I’m more of a lone explorer, except for the occasional blessing of finding a few other ” explorers” like myself, I am wandering again.

Looking for my Jesus fix. That’s also what Joyce Meyer calls it. Being addicted to Jesus. I just have to have what He has. I keep looking for my teacher. I keep listening for the still small voice. I feel the need.

So I begin searching for my teacher. Asking others about more.

More praise and worship, inspirational preaching, restorative instruction, deeper and deeper I feel the need to go.

I’ve been to two new churches. Awesome places of worship. Full Gospel Christian Center in Port Jefferson Station, NY and The Refuge Church in Northport, NY are wonderful examples of feeding my need.

Full Gospel Christian Center is charismatic, has altar calls, flag and dance ministries, friendly parishioners, terrific praise and worship ministry, and the pastors are so anointed. When I was there many people went up for the altar call and where anointed  with oil and prayed prayed over by the pastors. Talk about a Holy Spirit movement. It was so amazing, two and a half hours long. Wow. I felt great after that.

The same people that told me of that church asked me if I wanted to go to a healing service. We did that a couple of weeks later.

We went to The Refuge Church in Northport. Friday and Saturday night and Sunday service. The praise and worship music was wonderful here also. Everything here was great. The pastor had such a great connection with his congregation.

What I found inspiring was the amount of young people so devoted to Jesus. There were more young than old. Hallelujah. There also was flag and dance ministries.  

They had special guests,there were two healers there from Bethel Church in Redding, California. The miracles that took place that weekend were simply fantastic. One young woman had her Scoliosis healed and grew an inch. I myself had my back and my right knee prayed  over. I actually felt and had visualized my one disc being pulled and moved. It took a few days before I realized the knot behind my right knee was gone. I can say that I partial healing but I will TESTIFY to what happened to me while I was there. A man had a rash on his leg that completely disappeared. There were others also.

My advice is for you to go yourself to a healing service. Bring your Faith and Belief.

As for me, I’m looking for more, so if you happen to see me when I’m questing let me tell you about about my adventures with Jesus.

Blessings,

Mary  

PS: See links section for website addresses.

Pastor  Estell is preaching again at Daily Transformation Ministries. I love that church. Pastor Freddy and the parishioners are so friendly and giving. It’s a comfortable place also. Make sure  to get there a little earlier to get the seats of your choice. 

Great  praise and worship music, comfortable atmosphere, awesome preaching, easy to get to, great location, friendly and inspirational. What more can I say?  You’ll just have to go there to see for yourselves.

Where:

Daily Transformation Ministries

7425 Orchid Lake Rd.

New Port Richey, Florida,

34653

When: June 30, 2013  at 10 a.m.

Save the Date and yourselves. Praise the Lord.

 

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