Welcome to my blog. My name is Mary. I am just a regular person like you. I went through life doing what I thought was the right thing. My life was difficult at times and I struggled through it. I worked hard and long thinking that was the only way to make it in this world. Making tons of mistakes and trying to fix myself in the process. I was always on a “quest” of sorts. I read many self improvement and psychology books. I also wanted to know more about God and increase my faith and understanding. In learning how to take care of myself, my family and my surroundings I learned to do many things. Sort of a “Jill of many trades”. I also became a Hospice nurse. Accomplished my dream of buying a house and a pickup truck. I thought I was on my way to finally succeeding at something. I was looking at everything all wrong.

After receiving another work injury my entire life changed. I thought it was all over for me. I grieved many things. The loss of independence, my home, my career, my way of life. I did not live a fancy life, just a regular working person. Caring for my home, bills, pets, and doing whatever I could to help others. I went to church every Sunday and holiday. I prayed and prayed. I finally started listening and paying more attention. I stopped my pity party and began all over. Since I tried living so many other ways in my lifetime and did not manage to have any self respect due to my living circumstances I decided to try it the way the Bible speaks of life. Maybe that’s what I was supposed to do all along. This was what I was missing. Living the clean life, no drinking, drugs, sex outside of marriage, no gossip, no nothing  that Jesus would not approve of.

I don’t want anyone to think this was an overnight ah-ha moment. It took a new type of work and  my attention to how I reacted and behaved to others. It is about love. Which is something I thought I knew about before. I was always looking for love in “all the wrong places” sidetracking myself. I also did not realize how big an influence Satan was on my life. What a deception. It has not been easy peeling away all the layers of hurt, distrust, abuse, anger, violations and the list  goes on. But I am happy to do it. I am being remade by the Potter. Because I am the willing clay.

When I found out about the only two choices I had after I died (Heaven or Hell) I realized I needed to get a move on making amends to myself and others. It’s a process, I keep praying and asking God for enlightenment and direction. I praise and thank Him always, for the good, the bad, the past,  the present and for what’s to come. We all have choices, I made mine, I want to go to Heaven when I die.

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