It's about Him

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 I  live in a world where being accepted by others is what I once thought  I wanted to be. I thought being and doing what my friends did   was normal. I thought everyone around me was normal. I thought I was not normal so I tried to be “normal” like them . I was in bondage to many things. That’s the right word too, BONDAGE. Thinking I was a free independent person when I was not. Being a slave to money, accepting unacceptable behavior, being a workaholic so that I could attain a certain status or station in my life, being prideful and trying to get by like everyone else was. Doing things I never ever thought I would do. Little by little I was degrading myself, being cut off from what was good and clean and wholesome. I was a wreck, losing my self esteem and self respect. Chipped away little by little. Heavy shoulders, big burdens, ignorant of many things. For all my accomplishments I also kept getting knocked back on my rear. Over and over not knowing why.

I kept thinking God, I’m a good person, why God? Why is this happening? What is it that I’m doing wrong? One thing I did learn through all my trials and tribulations is that God does hear me. I just needed to recognize the answer when it  is presented to me.I had to have my eyes,ears and heart wide open. I had to RECEIVE the answer. It’s like an ah-ha moment. Okay I get it now. It’s not about me. It’s about Him. He’s my father, my Abba, my daddy. Like no father I ever had before. With Him I can do so much more than without Him. 

Thank God that I have been found and saved. Saved from myself, from sin, from Satan. I was a very lost sheep. Faking my way, hoping the next big catastrophic event would not spiral down to the pits of despair, desperation, helplessness and homelessness. I had incredible stress in my life.

It took awhile but  I am so thankful for who, what and where I am in my life. I have had many changes and losses but the  next changes, the good ones, the positive ones, I look forward to.  I have good Christian support systems. I try on a regular basis to do what I’m supposed to do in my  Christian life. Some days are more difficult than others. It’s not easy trying to live as Jesus wants me to live. But through Him all things are possible.

I believe in the messages, the affirmations of wealth, health, prosperity, and restoration. They don’t necessarily mean that I’ll be monetarily rich. I believe they mean that I’ll be a lot better off than I was before, when I was lost.

Blessings, Mary