It’s been quite awhile since my last post. A lot has happened since then. I was not only trying to run my site building business but I was also trying to find work  for myself. It seems I must have thought I wasn’t busy enough. I also had begun taking an online business class to improve my business acumen.

Pushing myself physically and mentally to get ahead. All the while doing it with an old back injury. Pushing past it by telling myself  ‘everyone has aches and pains, put on your big girl panties and deal with it’. I was not taking into account something out of the blue taking me out of commission.

Working with a back handicap and then having to have spinal fusion due to Spinal Stenosis was a new learning experience for me. I told myself it was ‘only arthritis’, but it was a lot more than that, it’s the narrowing of the spinal canal.

The doctor said 3-6 months for healing. I didn’t want to hear it and I told the doctor just that. I wanted to put a rush on it.I wanted my life back.

I exacerbated my pain symptoms once and believe me I learned my lesson. Listen to the doctor. I’m now at the 3 month mark and feel great. I look forward to the 6 month mark. Why am I writing all this? Because I didn’t plan on any of it. Everything got a little behind. Sure I caught up right away but I really don’t like to lose sight of my goals.

I also was losing sight of God when all this started. The pain was intense and unbearable it had me thinking of “I wanted” this and that. Because the pain was so constant and present I couldn’t focus or think of anything; I couldn’t even pray. That really worried me.

I wondered where was God when I was so blinded by my physical pain. I felt as if I was in a white abyss unable to clear my mind and cry out to God. I felt vulnerable and alone. Very slowly I began to realize that He was always with me, He never left me. Getting me out of the way to allow for more of Him was essential.

 I thank God all the time for His love and protection. Now, I’m back on track, looking to do more and seeking His face, seeking Him always. I am so grateful for His timing. I know I’m going to be better than I was because of Him.

 

 

 

 

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